Why? I blamed it on myself but I knew deep down there was nothing I could have done to prevent it. If there’s a God then I sure as hell didn’t believe in him at this point in time. He’d done so much for the world too. No one ever said life was fair but this was so unjustifiable it was wrong. Looking back I remember all the good, no all the tremendous, times I had with this person. Until that day. It was a normal day or so I thought. I’d been to school, boring as usual. I had french last lesson which I despise. I can’t emphisise how much I was glad to here the end of school bell go.
I walked home pretty fast as it was the middle of winter and it was absoloutely freezing. The second I got in I jumped in front of the fire to warm up. I was like an ice cube and was glad of the heat. Then I realised I had to go out again into the freezer which is our earth. At least it felt like being inside a feezer. An hour later I came in through the door water dripping off me from head to toe. It was pouring down with rain and I’d just returned from football practice. I headed off upstairs to my room to get some clean clothes. “I finally got past that level.
It’s easy when you know how to do it,” deemed my brother. ” Do you wanna game? ” “Not right now I’m gonna take a steaming hot shower ’cause I’m freezing,” I replied. My brother was in my room playing on the computer. I was still in all my football gear when my mum entered. With tears streaming down her face she sobbed “He’s died. ” I knew exactly what she meant yet for the first few seconds I was completely oblivious to what my mum had said. I guess I didn’t believe it was true. He’d only just left hospital. I began to feel a tear trickle down my cheek.
I buried my face in the duvet so I didn’t expose my emotions. Then I realized what had happened and it had sunk in right in. I glanced over to my brother. He wasn’t crying but I could tell he was upset. He was trying to keep his emotions subtle. I hurried to the shower. I just wanted to be alone. To distant myself from everything. The next few days were very monotonous and dragged on forever. The day finally arrived. The day of the funeral. I saw all of my family together for the first time. Which, if it wasn’t for such a deplorable reason, would have been great.
But unfortunately that’s just how things turned out. Flowers were all over the house with a message attached to each. I kept asking myself why? Did it have to be this way. It was so sudden. I didn’t even get to say goodbye. I got the day off school to go to the funeral. Usually I would have loved to get the day off. But for this. I would have gone to school for the rest of my life to prevent this from happening. A cold feeling swept through the house. As the cars pulled away I kept thinking something was wrong. It was. I couldn’t help wondering what I’d be doing if he was still alive.
I would have been at school doing maths, science, english or any of the other subjects I had that day just as normal We reached the church………. this part is particularly hard for me so I won’t say anything much about it. The ceremony helped me through it a bit better though. “The Australians had a saying. When someone dies they say that they’ve moved away. It makes it much easier to take,” quoted the Vicar. We all went off to a buffet after the ceremony. People were still crying and others just arriving. I just sat there and didn’t say a word. I was gutted. Had I really deserved this?
I kept on questioning myself throughout the night. I went over to get something to eat. I looked around and saw many people drinking. I thought to myself drowning their sorrows in a sea of alcohol. I went and sat down. My cousin approached later on and challenged me to a game of pool. I had nothing better to do so I accepted. It came down to the final black ball. Me versus him in a battle for champion. The pressure was on me as it was my shot. I just couldn’t concentrate. I miscued and fumbled the shot. I wasn’t really that bothered. My cousin move towards the table lined up his shot and struck the cue ball.
He made the shot and I lost. It wasn’t such a triumphant win as neither of us could be celebrating at the time. As the night came to a close I could hear people laughing. Everyone had been drinking and forgot the real reason why we were there. But not me. I still remembered what we were doing there. All the time I still remember him. All the times I had with him. He used to pick me up from school when my mum and dad were working. Then he would take me on the bus to town or sometimes I’d go on a walk down Sankey Valley with him. I remember one time when I was about seven. He picked me and my brother up from school.
This day was unusual as my mum was supposed to pick us up but she had to go out. He took us down to the park and we threw a boomerang to each other because we weren’t skilled enough to make it fly back. My brother launched the boomerang out of his hand when I wasn’t looking. I turned around to see a great big green thing (it was quite a big boomerang) flying towards my head. As you’ve probably guessed it me smack on my head slicing it right open. Blood began pooring from the wound. He placed a tissue on my head to catch the blood. He carried me back to his house. I cried nearly all the way.
He called my uncle to come down and take me to the hospital because he didn’t have a car. I sat down with a wet flannel pressed against my head waiting. I’d calmed down now. When my uncle arrived we quickly hurried to his car and he drove us to Wiston hospital. Again I waited to be seen to. It wasn’t long amazingly only about ten minutes although it did feel longer for me. I went in and lay down on a bed. ” Lets take a look at this then,” said the nurse. He explained what had happened and then the nurse got to work. “Now this might sting a little,” explained the nurse. I remember cringing as she applied the spray.
After everything was seen to the nurse told me I was very brave and then my uncle drove us back home to my house. The last thing I remember is walking down the drive with a huge plaster on my head wondering what my mum would say. Anything that happened after I cannot remember. The final statment of this memory is that I will never forget him. Selecting the horses and heading off to the Done Bookmakers to make a bet. Going for walks through Sankey Valley. Picking me up from school. All my memories will stay with me forever and although nothing will ever change he will always be with me in my heart. He is, and always will be, my Grandad.