The family is the main issue that is in our life. Most people dream of having a happy family and the key to family happiness is not so far away. Those who celebrate the golden wedding are always asked the question about the secret of their kin happiness. As a rule, heroes of the jubilee find it difficult to answer. After all, one can not say that their happiness was cloudless. Everyone has problems, but something helped them to overcome these obstacles together and to withstand difficult life situations. We can find such examples in movies, piece literature, and even real life. I think that the secret exists and it is real to find a key to it. Despite the complexity and philosophic nature of the above questions, which eventually became objects for rhetorical analysis, the answers to them are quite simple. In this analytical essay, I will try to find an answer.
The main issue in building a strong family is the desire of both partners. This is my thesis statement and life belief at the same time as any changes that we decide to make in life start with desire, and then there is a decision and the action. It is not enough to want and to decide, it is necessary to do. And this is the main secret of any undertaking. Independent long-term studies were conducted in many countries and at different time periods and they all showed one irrefutable fact. All successful people who have achieved success in different spheres of life – in relationships, in the professional field, in personal development, undertake active actions. There are not other secrets of achieving success.
If we are talking about the duration of the marriage and what makes it eternal, I think that family happiness begins with a woman. A man also has his own role, his work to strengthen relationships and create happiness in the kin. But since it is quite difficult to encourage others to make changes or to do something, and to teach and change ourselves is much easier, we begin to build personal and family happiness with ourselves. Nevertheless, the woman is the main force in preserving the kin.
In this case, the strength of the family and the secret of kin happiness lie in the plane of the woman’s thoughts and her deep faith that the man she chose as her husband and with whom she now lives is the same man with whom she can build her own happiness. If there is not faith, there will be no happiness in the family. This faith is the basis of any positive changes in the person of her husband and in kin life. Faith is a power that opens the way to the heart of a man. And this faith must come only from a woman. Conversely, the trigger mechanism for the destruction of the family is the state of the woman and her thoughts that with this person I can not be happy and in general I can live without him.
The second power of a happy marriage is the purity of the woman’s behavior. Let’s return to the biblical immortal virtues, which were defined several thousand years ago and are not actually accepted by modern society. What is meant by purity in behavior? This is not only the absence of physical treason but also the exclusion of flirting. The assumption of flirting comes from the first rule – if a woman admits the thought that with another man she could be happier, she will unconsciously or consciously look for this best option in every man met. And if a woman accepted and recognized her husband as the best man in the world, she will not even want to flirt with other men. She will not have a desire to do it.
Chastity directly determines the amount of happiness in the kin. And it is important to note the fact that the woman thus does not lose anything. She does not deprive herself of anything, devoting her life to only one man. Faithfulness will allow her to deepen relations with her husband. And as a result, she will receive much more love, happiness and other privileges that will come as a consequence of chastity. A man will feel and understand that his wife is reliable. He will trust her; he will see and feel her impeccable behavior and will be grateful to her for this.
The third strength of a happy family is that everyone should also strongly understand one’s place in the kin and role. 80% of the man’s happiness lies outside the family. And it’s important to accept it as a fact idea. At the same time, 80% of women’s happiness is in the kin; even in despite that it is not easy for modern women to recognize it. However, it is also a proven fact.
The next strength of harmonious family relations is the reasonableness of a woman. This is when all interpersonal issues are resolved without controversy, wrangling, and disagreement; when a wife is able to achieve her goals by consent, affectionate communication, and obedience. Here psychology is simple. A man is strong in spirit and body by nature, and he can not fight with the weak. He will stop respecting himself. When a woman shows weakness and obedience, he can not fight it, can not resist. And he always agrees.
The next force that will help build a strong marriage and a happy relationship is the acquisition of knowledge. Previously, mothers and grandmothers gave young girls the experience of family life and shared their secrets, experiences, and developments. Now all this knowledge is forgotten and for many lost its relevance.
The wisdom of this experience can be useful to any girl. In any situation, you can at least try to remedy the situation and change everything for the better, but you need to have the knowledge how to do this. Constant training in how to behave in a marriage, how to educate and build relationships with children, how to take one’s role in kin life, will help build a strong relationship and create a happy family. A woman should study these questions. In the opposite case, it will be difficult for her to understand the cause of many failures. The acquisition of knowledge will accumulate experience in her, which is much more important than receiving, for example, economic education or any other. An experience will help her build a harmonious and deep relationship with the kin and relatives. It will help to quickly identify the problem, respond to it and resolve.
Another rule that must be observed to build a happy and harmonious family is not to take out the dirty linen. For some reason in our time it is customary to share details of kin life with friends, relatives or even a psychologist, revealing all the nuances of family life. This is a big mistake since everything that a family lives on must remain within the family. This will help to cultivate power in the family. And if you endure kin happiness outside the family, then this force will gradually decrease, bringing quarrels and conflicts into the family.
It is very important in the kin to develop respect for each other. The entire strength of the family is built on the mutual respect and this is the necessary foundation on which to happiness is built. If the spouses respect each other, then their children will respect them.
I think that marriages can only last forever if the above conditions are met. Probably, it is for this reason that statistics tell us the opposite. It’s a hard daily job that not everyone can handle. Young people expect cloudless happiness and are very surprised when faced with the difficulties in the relationship. After all, yesterday everything was perfect. Only couples who keep putting one foot in front will be able to save their marriage forever.
- Unto the hills, Billy Graham – Billy Graham Evangelistic Association – 1986
- For women only discussion guide, Shaunti Feldhahn – Lisa Ann.Rice – Multnomah Publishers – 2005